Thank you Lord that even though I do not deserve anything, you still shower me with your amazing grace! This is not earned, as we are told. I did nothing to deserve it. This morning I received a phone call from my father’s business partner and second daughter Crystal. Dad was having a hard time breathing and she was sending over her husband Donnie to check on him. Dad has many underlining conditions and yes, without realizing it, I exposed him to this deadly virus. They rushed over to the house to access Dad’s condition as I am about a two hour drive away. Needless to say, I am in the car driving with little more than my toothbrush, vitamins, laptop and Bible! All I can think is…will I see him again?

My Dad, Jerry, is the heart and soul of our family. He is the story teller, the evangelist, the man who has taken care of this family for the past 35 years. Mom and Dad met when they were both in their late 40’s. Needless to say I was born some 20 years prior, but Dad is the only earthly man I call Father. He still owns and operates Pacific Roofing in Modesto as he celebrates his 84th birthday last month. He owned racing cars, sailed to the British Virgin Islands on a custom built sailboat and lived on an island for seven years with Mom. The two of them have shared more adventures, and enjoyed a life that most of us could only dream about. Dad is one-of-a-kind. He takes care of my Mom who is suffering with dementia, and even on his bad days, he is full of love and grace along with the patience of Job, sprinkled in. I know, who is this Patron Saint? He’s just my Dad.

By the time I arrive to their home, Dad is sitting on his favorite recliner watching Hallmark Movies. Yep, that’s who he is. He is on portable oxygen which is from the garage, never to be used except for emergencies, but has been given a pass to crank it up until he can start breathing better. Any of you who are reading this are rolling your eyes, knowing that without a doctors order, he shouldn’t be using bootleg oxygen. And you are absolutely spot on. After talking with a Doc on the phone, I chatted with another Doctor on Video, and both told me to get him in to be evaluated ASAP. Mom still has her pajamas on but they are blue fuzzy jammies from Christmas, and are perfectly appropriate for a car ride to the Urgent Care. Once we arrive, I escort Dad in to the clinic, then head back and work crossword puzzles with Mom. And we wait. And we pray and we wait some more.

After about an hour, we head in and talk with the Dr. Vasi. What a Godsend this man is. He sits with me and tells me Dad will be fine. He has Congested Heart Failure (CHF) which we have been aware of for quite some time. His labs all came out good, no infection and he will be released as soon as he finishes using the bathroom for the up-tenth time. That’s what they do when you have fluid built up, lots of lasix and many trips to the stall! Bathroom trips, I can handle that God.

Why are you so merciful to me, to my Dad, to my mother and to the rest of our family? Just a few hours ago I had painted all these pictures in my head of what was to come. They were not pretty, they were of grief, anguish, sorrow and regret. What if I was the one who gave my Dad COVID? What if I never was able to tell him how much I loved him and how much I love the way he loves my Mom? What if’s are the games my brain plays when I entertain Satan and forget about who our merciful, gracious and loving God truly is!

Once again, God has my undivided attention. He knows how to keep me close, keep me seeking Him, keeps me coming back on my knees! Yesterday I was sitting at the lake talking to God about what He had planned for me this year. Who He wanted me to be and where He wanted me to go? Compassion is all I heard yet He desired me to seek Him at a depth that fills my entire soul and being with His presence. I must have complete trust in what He is doing in me and through me, in all circumstances. I need to know that He has my back, even when I didn’t feel it, deserve it or realize it. And I also must understand that this is nothing that I deserve but yet He gives it freely. Who is this God of ours? I ask myself that daily, hourly and sometimes minute by minute. He is all I need, today, tomorrow and forevermore. Yes Lord, you have my undivided attention once again!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6